I am a 30 year old woman and the place I sort out my thoughts is the swing on the playset built by my husband, family and friends for my sons in the backyard.
I remember being a teenager in the dead of winter. Snow flurries falling around me kissing the landscape like a mother kisses a sleeping babe. I bundled myself up and went to the place where everything in the world made sense. I went swinging at the park down the street from my house. I walked there to hide away from the world. To figure it out.
I felt cocooned in the symphony of snow.
There was no ground under my feet to hold me to the earth. The air around me whooshing past as I dreamed and planned my future. The cold and my mind as crisp as a sweet golden delicious straight off the tree.
When the world is overwhelming for me, and it often is, I swing.
I mentioned this to some friends in the medical field and neither seem surprised. What have they diagnosed me with, without telling me?
ADD?
I have no idea... but I do know that often the world seems too much for me. So I swing, I pray.
Earlier this week rain was softly making pitter-patter on our skylights right after dusk, and my thoughts wouldn't stop. I went outside. I swung.
I let the drizzle hit my face, and cool my fears while the back and forth motion lulled me into my comfort zone. I talked to my creator.
Back before medication and diagnosis were handed out like candy at a parade, people like me figured out coping mechanisms for when this world was too much. To be clear, I think that medicine and science are a gift from God. I tried some anxiety medication this year, and it reeked havoc on my stomach and it was not right for me. Try different things to see what works for you and your body. In this post I talk about swinging, praying, and mention oils, and music.
Swinging has always been one of my coping mechanisms. I wasn't always aware of it.
What I always have been aware of was this: Most people find me overwhelming.
What people don't know is this; I too find most people overwhelming.
I have always thought I was too much. How how I repeat myself, or am very loud, or try so hard is too much. How when I am comfortable around you I am basically a broadway musical with all the singing and dancing is too much. How large crowds make it hard for me to make eye contact is wrong.
It is not true that I am too much.
The truth is I was not made for this world.
This world is what is too much.
The Lord has shown me that.
That He created me just right.
That He didn't create me for this world.
That just because every day living my life in this world is hard no matter how numerous my blessings (and they are many) was because of me, is a lie.
It is hard because of sin and brokenness.
Sometimes it is hard because of lies from the devil and me overthinking.
Mostly though it is just a reminder that I need the Lord for every breath in this world. We all do.
Sometimes it is just more apparent than other times.
A word He gave me last night was " that I will always be broken in this world, and He will always be what holds me together."
Some days and moments I feel that brokenness more than others.
Always being broken might sound hopeless but always having a Father to hold me together is hopeful. He is hope itself.
Whether I am in swinging in the backyard, the park, in the rain or snow. He is listening. As the weight of the world flies off my shoulders into His arms.
I fight the world by praying. I cope with the world by swinging.
Where do you go for a healthy escape when the world is overwhelming? Who do you go to?
Soundtrack to this blog post is an oldie:
Swing Life Away by Rise Against
Essential oil accompaniment:
Release by Young Living
https://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/release-essential-oil
Backyard Swingin',
Ven
Stay woke as I share my other coping mechanisms in upcoming days/weeks on the blog.
Swinging is used as therapy for different reasons. Maybe it is right for you.
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